Experiencing the Oneness
Through much of my life I suppose I have felt on the edge of it all. I think many of us feel that way. A sense of missing out, of not fully engaging in all that life has to offer. It's a hard one for the ego for it is really impossible to experience everything in life. The thing to do, I have found, is to find appreciation of what you have done and find a way of dealing with what you haven't experienced.
Two things happened to me in the last month that really helped me with this one. First, in my last blog I spoke of a trip to the Scilly Isles and I how I saw the idea of riding the waves help in the broader aspect of riding the waves of life. While I was physically struggling with the rolling waves I stayed below deck for most of the journey, which is most unusual for me. At the end of the trip when my group met up I was told that dolphins had been spotted and how exciting it had been to have been able to see them. I was immediately disappointed that I'd missed this experience. However, I had recently finished Richard Bach's book 'One' in which he and his wife meet many of their alternative selves and how it teaches them that we are all just many aspects of the one and we can see and enjoy other people's experiences through them rather than feeling diminished by them. This really helped me let go of the disappointment.
A week or so later driving in Wiltshire my partner and I spotted some starlings in the field next to the road. Now I know that I always miss the beautiful displays that the starlings put on for us each year as I never take the time out to find them but always say how much I'd like to see them. We're all good at that one (as a saxophonist, if I had a pound for every time someone told me that they've always wanted to play the saxophone!) but here was an opportunity right in my hand. We quickly pulled over and though it only looked like there were a few little groups of starlings, suddenly they were all gathering together and flying over our heads into the field where we were stood. I immediately ducked, well with that many birds its always best to take cover as there's always going to be a few managing their waste disposal. All clear, so I stood up straight to the sound of the flutter of wings overhead which was amazing and although there were only hundreds rather than thousands the closeness of them and the display they put on was simply gorgeous. I was reminded how it is now known that there is no leader, they all just work as one connected body and it was breathtaking the shapes and kaleidoscopic visuals they created in the sky.
At last I was truly experiencing this and just to bring home to me the reality and closeness of it all, as they changed direction one more time right over our heads we received a direct hit. My partner was splattered on his forehead and my gift was in my hair. Some say it's good luck. I don't believe in luck myself but I certainly felt very much in the heart of what life was offering me. We had to laugh.
I felt that my desire to investigate this issue, this problem of feeling left out, that others are getting more out of life than I am, was being answered. I was being shown how this feeling is a truly ego led view of life. That we need to learn to respect the ego and led it grow with experience rather than giving it a hard time for making mistakes. We can't all experience everything but when we accept this and stop feeling hard done by and less than we are, we can be open to allowing some really beautiful experiences in and live our one life to the full and enjoy the rest through the experiences of the other as an alternative version of ourselves.